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Dating And Self Confidence
By Lee Dobbins, Mon Jan 2nd

Dating can be stressful and nerve wracking. You might feel likeyou are under a microscope and all your failures and faults areexposed in the open. But you can make things easier on yourselfby boosting your confidence. You'll be much more attractive toany date when you exude self confidence plus you'll be able toenjoy yourself more and get much more out of the datingexperience.

Since the whole point of dating is getting to know someonebetter, most people are nervous about making a good impression.Self doubts can creep in - are you smart enough? Attractiveenough? Successful enough? That coupled with the threat ofrejection is enough to make anyone's confidence go south.

So how can you increase your confidence for your next date?

First off, don't blow the date all out of proportion. It is justa date - one afternoon or evening. The rest of your life doesnot depend on it, although of course, you could be meeting yourfuture spouse! Whether you are just looking for a fun night outor desperately trying to find Mr or Mrs right, it is best tojust focus on the date itself. Take it for what it is and don'tput a lot of pressure on the event.

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Enjoy the person you are onthe date with and the meal, movie or whatever - don't have anygreat expectations other than a fun date.

Go into the date thinking of yourself as a person that has a lotof confidence. We've all seen them, the person that sweeps intothe room and turns heads even when they might not be the mostattractive or best dressed. If you picture yourself as confidentthen you will act this way - even when you don't really feel it.

You've heard it before but the best way to have confidence on adate is to be yourself. Don't try to impress your date by actinglike someone you are not because you will not have theconfidence to pull it off. If you hit it off with your date,you'll be glad you weren't pretending to be someone else as itwill only be exposed later and could really much things up foryou. Plus it just takes too much effort to pretend to be someoneelse and you won't be able to enjoy yourself as much. Andanyway, why wouldn't your date like you for who you are?

If you feel insecure about yourself, focus on the other person.Become interested in their hobbies, likes dislikes and reallythink about what they have to say. When you put them in thespotlight it takes the spotlight off of you, plus you get tolearn a lot about them. Ask questions and really hear theanswers then ask more questions about the answers. Of course,you want to do this in a conversational way and not make yourdate feel like you are grilling them! While you don't want totalk just about yourself the whole time you also don't want tomake it seem like you are avoiding answering their questions.When you do talk about yourself highlight your positive points.

Another way to take some of the pressure out of a date is to dosomething different instead of sitting at dinner and feelinginsecure about coming up with 3 hours of conversation withsomeone you don't know. Find a common interest, perhaps hikingor bird watching and make that date to do that. This way you cantalk about your experiences related to t his interest and itwill take a lot of the pressure off as well as boost your selfconfidence as you will be talking about something you know a lotabout!

The main thing when dating is to remember that you are avaluable and special person. Don't feel inferior to anyone andbe confident - this will help win you many friends and, maybeeven that special someone!

About the author:Lee Dobbins writes for Better Self where you canlearn more about self help and self improvement. Visitwww.better-self.com for more on how to acheive better self confidence.

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